Party Pies

What can be said of party pies? Is it their cute miniscule size or slightly mushroom-shaped pastry? Is it the meat that is always a little burnt under the lid or the curious bits of mystery meat which keep close to the pastry boarder? Is it the fact that they are always served too hot or too cold, and never just right? Or is the prime value of a party pie its convenience? Like snack-sized chocolate bars that don’t make you feel as bad for eating garbage, because there is only a tiny bit of it. Is a party pie really a pie? Are potato gems chips? Ultimately, what defines a party pie?

I have taken the liberty of consulting my brain and I believe that there is one unqiue attribute of the oddly-confusing party pie: their uniformity. Each party pie, everywhere, is exactly the same. No matter if you are attending your aunt’s colonoscopy celebration, a funeral or a staff luncheon, there will be party pies, and they will all look and taste exactly the same; regardless of brand. Does this make the party pie boring? For some reason, no. Everyone likes party pies, and if anyone crazy enough were to change the recipe there may be serious repercussions on a global Imagescale.

Party pies: 6/10.

Grading: C

 

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